Spiritual Alchemy - Abandoned, Part 5
Whilst I was living my recent adventure in the US, I read ‘The Alchemist’, by Paulo Coelho - a story about a shepherd boy who follows his dreams from Spain to the Egyptian desert in search of treasure buried in the Pyramids. Along the way he meets all kinds of people that help him on his journey, but in the end, he realises where the treasure was buried all along. I was enamoured with the Foreward of the book where Coelho writes:
“When I read about clashes around the world - political clashes, economic clashes, cultural clashes - I am reminded that it is within our power to build a bridge to be crossed. Even if my neighbour doesn’t understand my religion or understand my politics, he can understand my story. If he can understand my story, then he’s never too far from me. It is always within my power to build a bridge. There is always a chance for reconciliation, a chance that one day he and I will sit around a table together and put an end to our history of clashes. And on this day, he will tell me his story and I will tell him mine.”
I LOVE this. It was what I felt so strongly when I was living in another culture, trying to understand their perspective on various issues.
Coelho also writes:
“When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.”
Deciding to move to Memphis felt like jumping off a cliff. I could never have dreamed up all that I experienced and learnt on that journey.
Here is a snippet of my story, starting seven years ago, when I was desperately searching for some treasure.
In the words of Spandau Ballet:
“I bought a ticket to the world
But now I’ve come back again
Why do I find it hard to write the next line?
Oh I want the truth to be said.”
Seven years ago in 2015, at the age of 41, I was searching - for myself I guess. I’d been a stay at home Mum for 10 years, after having 4 children in 5.5 years, and I’d forgotten who I really was. I started an Instagram account called @phyllisandmary (my Grandmothers names), where I posted everything I loved. It really helped. Then in 2016, I started working again - life changing!! More on that in a moment. In 2018, I completely upended my life. If you know me, or have read my blogs, you’ll know the story. If not, this blog post ‘The Trailing Spouse’ covers my rather chaotic second half of 2018 - in the lead up to moving to the US - along with the first year living in Memphis, Tennessee. And this blog post Mississippi Soul - Abandoned, Part 3 is about the entrapment we find ourselves in when we abandon our true selves, and how we then let go of the false self.
Since that first blog post back in February 2020, I’ve written 38 more posts - a lot of words! (and somewhat rebellious considering my Yr 11 English teacher, Sister Jeanne, suggested I discontinue English studies in Yr 12!) These words have covered an assortment of topics ranging from photography, teachers, motherhood, COVID, travel, Trump, guns, religion, White Flight, Redlining, segregation, statue removal, shootings, protest camps, indigenous issues, media ownership, abortion, nostalgia, the environment, singers, fear, death, working dogs, spirituality, kindness, and colour; along with abandonment - of culture, home, property, citizens, and self. Phew…..time for a rest! This blog post - my last for a while, is my fifth and final on the theme of abandonment, and is a continuation on the topic of abandonment of self - but from a positive and spiritual perspective. It’s about how we transform through the process of metamorphosis, or ‘spiritual alchemy’, and what I learned along the way from some of the amazing adventures I went on and the people that I met.
But first, let’s go back to 2016, when I started working at the ground-breaking Jackalope Hotel on the Mornington Peninsula in Victoria, Australia.
The Jackalope, sculpture by Emily Floyd, photo by Sharyn Cairns via the Jackalope website
The Jackalope is a mystical creature of North American folklore - and is described as a jackrabbit with antelope horns. As written in this article Jackalope spirit animal symbolism and meaning, folklore suggests the Jackalope is a whisky-loving, swift, highly intelligent, cunning trickster - but all in the name of good fun! A Jackalope can show you how to tap into your inner well of creativity, and can inform, inspire, and awaken you. It uses its brilliance to defend itself with words, and it’s good at impersonating others. It’s elusive, secretive, will lunge at those it considers a threat, but always escapes those that hunt it. They say a Jackalope arrives in your life when you are about to experience a major epiphany, or there’s something that will inspire you in a life-altering way….. a prelude to the next chapter in my life, perhaps.
Photo by Christina Day
My role at Jackalope Hotel was as Business Development Manager. I was selling the dream - enticing corporate clients to book Jackalope for their events. Most importantly though, and what would become my ‘elevator pitch’ I was selling them the creative narrative of Jackalope - alchemy, or transformation.
Alchemy was an occult science and a form of chemistry studied in the Middle Ages, where alchemists sought to create the ‘Philosopher’s Stone’ or ‘The Stone of Wisdom’ - for its supposed ability to transform base metals such as lead, into precious ones, especially gold and silver. Alchemists also believed that an elixir-of-life could be derived from it.
Rolf Sachs, 5 Flasks "light chemistry" lamp. Photo by Sharyn Cairns via the Jackalope website.
Jackalope Hotel is built at the Willow Creek Vineyard, and whilst the process of turning grapes into wine is a scientific one with five different stages, alchemy is also taking place - with the grapes transforming into a timeless elixir of wine. Some say the life within wine is pure magic.
The creative collaborators establishing the Jackalope brand used the process of wine-making alchemy as a metaphor, with each area of the hotel representing a different stage of alchemy through art.
“The hotel's creative narrative, alchemy, is given life through a series of commissions by world-renowned artists and designers - the seemingly magical processes of transformation, creation, or combination are evident in each installation and the hotel's collection as a whole.” Jackalope Hotel
(see the Carr website for further information on the the build, design, concept, and multiple awards won).
The lighting installation in Doot Doot Doot restaurant represents the fermentation stage of alchemy, in this case, the fermentation of grapes into wine - with the wine becoming the ‘gold’ or the elixir of life. Photo by Sharyn Cairns via the Jackalope website.
“More broadly speaking, the Jackalope Art Collection's curatorial concept presents rebellious pieces as a conceptual layer in storytelling. Often immersive, these pieces are used to create transformative experiences in hospitality, taking guests on a journey through an ever-evolving world of emotions and expressions.” Jackalope Hotel
Flaggerdoot Cocktail Bar - “Its current incarnation delights in the alchemic process of distillation; an experimental spirit stirs the daring cocktail menu, serving a mix of classics and in-house creations.” Photo by Sharyn Cairns via the Jackalope website.
Clients were enthralled with the story, and I was in love with telling it. Little did I realise at the time just how much the Jackalope creative narrative of alchemy would play into my life in the coming years, as I came to learn about ‘spiritual alchemy’, or transformation.
“The goal of the alchemist was to take base metals and, through a process of purification, transform them into unalloyed gold. This, of course, is the perfect metaphor for taking the base emotions of the ego, like envy and rage, and transform them into the singular awareness of the soul. Gold was the metaphor for discovering the true spiritual nobility of the soul while still embodied. The ultimate objective is to restore the bond between matter and spirit, between earth and heaven, between masculine and feminine, between all these ‘opposites’ that create this illusion of separateness. The ultimate objective is union.” Mary Magdalene Revealed, Meggan Watterson
So, what are the stages of alchemy, or alchemical transformation? The chart below outlines both the chemical and the psychological/spiritual:
To read more detail on this, see here
Where chemical alchemy is transforming materials - and Jackalope Hotel used the process of wine-making alchemy as a metaphor throughout the hotel, spiritual alchemy is transforming ourselves, with the aim of attaining spiritual enlightenment.
“It is used to achieve contentment, harmony, and awareness by liberating one’s essence from one’s acquired personality. The personality contains the inauthentic part of the self, including one’s beliefs, concepts, opinions, wounds, fears and phobias. In this way, the transmutation of lead into gold functions as a metaphor for the process of self-actualisation and spiritual rebirth.” The Collector
All sounds rather highfalutin, doesn’t it?!
But then I realised that it’s just an extension of what I’ve already written about in my blog post Mississippi Soul - Abandoned, Part 3. In that post, I talked about my ‘Before Memphis’ time, particularly motherhood - where I had abandoned my true self; but then started to let go of the false sense (steps 1 - 4 of the spiritual alchemical transformation - Calcination, Dissolution, Separation and Conjunction). I discussed the process of metamorphosis we go through when we start to drop away all our beliefs that are no longer true for us.
Taken in January 2014 when the children were 8, 7, 5 and 3
Here’s a few excerpts of what I wrote:
“I was a bit of sensitive kid, a middle child, the Switzerland of the family, and perhaps shared some traits with what some might now call an empath. I (mostly) always wanted to do the right thing – ‘a people pleaser’ as I’ve been called on numerous occasions - and I realise now how destructive that can be to the true self.”
“This passage I recently read from Elizabeth Su struck a chord:
“For a lot of empaths, people-pleasing tendancies first develop in the form of self-protection. Since we can feel people’s disapproval, judgments & criticisms so strongly, we learn at a very early age to give people what they want and to avoid the pain of their disappointment. This turns into a vicious cycle of overgiving, overachieving, and overanalyzing our way through life.”
“As wonderful as motherhood is - and on so many occasions it feels like my heart will explode with love for my children - it’s still a love for someone else, not myself. There have been times as a mother that I’ve felt like a shell of my old self, a bit like in this image: lonely, empty, isolated, unhinged, light on the outside but dark on the inside, and totally bereft of who I really was.”
“Having my 4th child was my undoing in a lot of ways though, the beginning of the unravelling. I wondered at times, was the stress, chaos, and depressive bouts worth it all? Why couldn’t I have just been happy with the 3 beautiful, healthy daughters that I already had? But in hindsight, I can see what a gift these struggles that I faced were (and that many parents face). The 4th child wasn’t there because ‘we were trying for a boy’, or ‘because he would complete our family’; he was sent to us a divine teaching gift. It’s only by going through the really tough times – when you feel like you’re in a dark pit covered by a heavy blanket – then tackling the seemingly insurmountable climb out of that pit into the light, that I started to get a glimpse of myself again, the true essence of me, the one that I had kind of lost along the way.”
“I was beginning to realise that as I woke up to myself and became more conscious of my own past conditioning, I was drawing in closer to the vortex that WAS the right one for me, and it had started by going deeper into myself - into my heart – rekindling a part of myself that I thought was long lost in childhood, that true essence of me. The one that had been sent to the background and was hiding under all the different layers and masks I’d tried to cover it up with.”
“And as Beth Berry writes in her book ‘Motherwhelmed’:
‘Your truth can only be found in your heart. You are the only one with access to it. Often, our personal truths are deeply buried beneath other people’s perception of truth or teachings that claim the truth. Discovering our deepest personal truth takes time. It often requires that we sift and sort and drill through crusted-over layers of shame, protection, hurt, and fear. Once we find our truth, however, we have found our internal compass. Our deepest knowing. Our timeless wisdom. Digging that deep is a brave, bold move and one of the most radical acts of love and healing on the planet. You can feel it when you’ve hit a vein of truth. It feels like absolute resonance. It feels like soul food of the purest sort. It feels like pure light shining on your very essence. It feels like you’ve finally made your way home.’”
Feeling elated after climbing ‘Bell Rock’ in Sedona, Arizona - a place with strong healing vortex energy
My ‘During Memphis’ stage was obviously a time of travel and joy, but it was also a time of deep reflection, learning, and suffering - step 5 - the Fermentation stage of spiritual alchemy . Here’s an excerpt of what I wrote in the blog post:
“As I’ve continued on my pilgrimage back to the true self, it’s felt a bit like the process of metamorphosis - with Memphis being my cocoon or chrysalis. Interestingly, the word Memphis can be made out of the word metamorphosis."
“I feel like being ‘in the cocoon’, has encouraged me to contemplate the here and now so much more than what I ordinarily would. Moving to another country for a limited time, to a place where there is no societal expectation on me, has been liberating! It forces you to really live in the moment, to experience as much as you can in the time you have, and to soak it all in – every person you meet, every food you taste, every abandoned building you see, every piece of history you read, every type of weather you experience – you marinate in the differences and delve and ask questions and want to know more. There’s less thinking of what went before, and much less thinking of what lies ahead – it’s just living for the NOW, and of course COVID has only perpetuated the feel of the cocoon and intensified the experience.”
Books seemed to appear before me, all imparting some words of wisdom that I needed for my journey. I’ve already mentioned many of these books in that blog post Mississippi Soul - Abandoned, Part 3, but I wanted to mention this one again, written by Meggan Waterson in ‘Mary Magdalene Revealed’, when she is discussing the lost gospel of Mary Magdalene:
“We will find ‘the child of true humanity’ if we search for it within. We don’t have to compromise, ever, and settle for an ‘almost’ version of who we are. We do not have to confirm to some external truth, some version of what someone else is telling us is better, or more right, more holy, more human. We don’t have to fit in. We don’t have to contort who we are in order to fit a mold that was never meant for us.”
“There will never be a voice outside of you that is wiser than your soul-voice or holds more authority over what is best for you. You need guidance and support not to follow someone else’s truth but to remain loyal to your own. The voice that will guide you to your highest potential is within you.”
And Untamed by Glennon Doyle, which I’ve previously written about, definitely needs another mention:
“I can use pain to become. I am here to keep becoming truer, more beautiful versions of myself again and again forever. To be alive is to be in a perpetual state of revolution. Everything I need to become the woman I’m meant to be is inside my feelings of now. Life is alchemy, and emotions are the fire that turns me to gold. I will continue to become only if I resist extinguishing myself a million times a day. If I can sit in the fire of my own feelings, I will keep becoming.”
And some of the people I met acted like guides on my journey - both physically and metaphorically. Here are some of them:
Peter Gersten, immersed in his great love Bell Rock, Sedona, Arizona
Peter Gersten - Bell Rock guide leader.
Peter guided my climb up Bell Rock, Sedona, Arizona - a butte composed of sedimentary rock, sitting at an elevation of 5000 feet (1500m), also known to have a strong vortex energy. It was an extremely challenging, but exhilarating climb, and one of the best days of my life. Now 80 years old, Peter has shown great kindness in taking over 4,000 people to the top of Bell Rock, at no charge - he does it for the love of it. He’s an interesting character - an ex-New York lawyer, who from 1977 to 2000 represented UFO groups in lawsuits against the various agencies of the Federal Government. He also has some interesting beliefs, ones that made me really think outside of the box of my own reality:
"I believe I exist within a holographic reality program, an intelligently designed futuristic entertainment simulation, for which I directly programmed certain experiences, relationships, lessons and issues before I was born.” Peter Gersten
These were some of the key learnings on overcoming fear I took out from that wonderful day:
letting go of control
trusting in the Universe and going with the flow
flexibility
getting out of your comfort zone
believing in yourself
trusting others
getting help when you need it, and
living in the moment
You can read more about this wonderful day on the blog post You Can Do It!
Maria and Chandler - ‘my new soul mates’
Maria and Chandler - participants in the ‘Finding True Self’ workshop I did in Sedona, Arizona, and my fellow ‘Bell Rock’ climbers.
They taught me that everyone put in front of us is a mirror into our own soul. There is so much to learn from those that come into our lives in a significant way - whether for a short or long term.
They both wrote some beautiful wise words about the climb:
Chandler -
“I’ve learned many lessons along the way on this two month desert tour. I believe we have to experience life in our own way to truly understand ourselves and others. I found myself from within and that is something others could not do for me. I faced outside fears and fears within. I looked at why I was holding myself back from living. It was fear and doubt that I allowed myself to believe and rip away my soul. I allowed outside forces to dictate my path. This was my fault, but I blamed everyone and everything rather than looking at myself. The only way to make it up to myself and others is to change now. I am willing to face the world, fears and challenges that lie ahead. I’m not saying I won’t fail, but I am ‘willing’ to fail for the first time in my life.”
Maria -
“Climbing to the top of a canyon is a beautiful metaphor for life. If you see it from below is seems impossible and dangerous, you think you can’t make it. But you start climbing, one step at a time, focused on the present (left foot here, right here, raise your right hand, then your left…). Every piece you climb is in itself an achievement that motivates you to the next, and as you only care about staying alive in the present, with all that focus you stop thinking about the top (the future), or turning back down (the past). Same goes for dreams of life. You see them in the distance, hard to reach, but if you start taking small steps in the present, you overcome the fear of the past and the anguish of the future, and based on trust in your mind, body and spirit, you reach to the top of your existence.”
Jim Blair with some of his beautiful dogs
Jim Blair - Owner of Eden Ethical Dog Sledding.
I met Jim when our family enjoyed an absolutely magical day of dog care and sledding at his property in Vermont.
What struck me most about Jim, was his unconditional love for his animals, and their unconditional love back to him. His number one priority is the care of his dogs - he stands for love, quality care, no chains, and sharing the joy that well kept, Alaskan Huskies bring to children and adults.
‘The UN-Chained Gang are seven generations of pack/human raising of litters as wolves do - the pups are kept together for their lives, never sold. In addition, dogs are rescued from race chaining kennels. Together they explore canine consciousness - and allow the true wisdom, sensibility, individuality and ability to make their own decisions emerge.’ Deborah Blair
To read more about this inspiring man and his dog sledding business, have a read of this blog post The Wisdom of Dogs.
Lucy Honner and I on the Mississippi River, Memphis, Tennessee
Lucy Honner - Childhood friend, but also a Spiritual Director, Speaker, Wholeness Coach and Self-Worth Strategist.
Whilst I’ve known Lucy my whole life, she’s lived in the US for over 25 years, so a catch up is rare nowadays. But when we do see each other, it feels like coming home. Lucy seems to pop back into my life at pivotal times, always with some divine guidance to impart.
On this particular trip, we had a lot of fun together, but she also left me with these thoughts:
How do we know when God/source/the Universe is talking to us?:
Knowing - you just know
Intuition - you feel it
Faith - you’re not sure, but an opportunity is put in front of you and you take it
If you step away, the Universe will provide for you
God/source/the Universe talks to us in all types of ways - through nature, animals, intuition, whispers, and through other people
And importantly, that old friendships never die
Momenta Workshop Los Angeles, February 2020 - teachers and participants
Matt, Alison, and Dotan (front row) - Momenta Teachers, and
Henry (very back with glasses) - fellow workshop participant
One of the best things I did while I lived in the US, was attend a 4-day documentary photography workshop, Project LA. It was organised by ‘Momenta Workshops’ whose motto is ‘Documentary photography for social good’’. I just snuck it in before COVID hit - in February 2020. I needed to visit a hospital when I was there (a story you can read about in my blog post Exposing My Fears - Photography Workshop) and I remember seeing COVID signs everywhere and having to sanitise my hands. It makes me even more grateful now that I took the plunge to participate in the workshop - something that I was petrified about doing.
In the blog, you can read up on the photography tips that Matt, Alison and Dotan taught me, but what really stands out to me now - 2 1/2 years after I attended the workshop, was just how generous and supportive they were with their experience. They taught me that no matter how successful in your field you are (and trust me, they’re hugely successful in the photography world in the US), there is always room to help others.
Henry was a workshop participant and we got to know each other pretty well. He works in the philanthropy world in Washington DC, and he is often the first to comment on photographs that I post on Instagram. I’ve never told him this, but I really admire what he does, his kindness he shows to others, and I appreciate his ongoing support so much! He also taught me that you’re never too old to follow your dreams!
River - playing a Native American flute
River - Native American and tour guide
River took our family on a wonderful sunrise tour of Monument Valley and the surrounding areas. He told us many stories about the Native Americans of the area, and he explained how the spectacular landscape was created 270 million years ago. Whilst our encounter was brief, it was profound. The most significant message I took from the day - and what I also take from any Indigenous community - is that everything is connected.
The seven chakras
The Healers - Madra, Richard, Diana
Some beautifully intuitive and soulful people that I was guided to, Madra, Richard, and Diana taught me so much about spirituality, energy, chakras and healing through their use of Sound Healing, Hypnotherapy and Reiki. Whilst most of the the messages are private, there are some for the collective that I think are worth sharing here:
The universe is at the intersection of the old and the new, like a figure 8 on its side
This transformative time is telling us that the old ways are broken and we need to be doing things a new way
Just be in a high, awakened vibration and share that - no need to do anything else - this is how things will change - if everyone ‘awakened’ stays in their light, it will help awaken others
My Bible Studies group - when in Rome…
Bible Studies Ladies
I LOVED these ladies. They were so much FUN, were the best listeners, and were so wise.
I wrote about the Bible Studies that I did in Memphis in my blog post To Believe is to Receive?, and just how much I got out of it - so much more that I ever expected.
I wrote:
“Perhaps the main reason I loved the Walking With Purpose (WWP) Bible Studies was because it was essentially a circle of wise women sitting around drinking coffee and mimosas, eating delicious home-baked Southern food, and discussing deep issues - my happy place even without the religious component. We laughed, we cried, we shared in milestones, and we also shared in misery. It was a beautiful place of authenticity and safe healing.”
The actual Bible Studies provided some really great advice too, such as this:
“If the way our worth is defined is through people’s acceptance of us, then fear of rejection will always be a noose around our necks. But if we can totally embrace the truth that people’s opinions do not determine our worth or identity, then freedom can be ours.”‘
But I’ll always remember how these wonderful woman made me feel - welcome, loved, and worthy.
They left me with a couple of messages:
You’ve found your voice, don’t lose it
Have the courage to believe in what you believe - don’t be a shrinking violet
There were many others that I met along the way that were enormously significant to me in my time in the US:
Rachael and Rita are cancer survivors, and they taught me so much about strength and friendship. They were my Aussie and Kiwi friends and were always there for me when I needed a touch of home.
Elisa has a child with Cystic Fibrosis. She taught me a lot about courage, but also fun in hard times.
Nicole was very aligned with my own beliefs, but she taught me how to exist in an environment where you’re surrounded by those with differing views.
Liz and Katrina had quite different political views to my own, but they became good friends, and they taught me how to look at an issue from another perspective.
The Jagoe family (Ben, Jess, Andrew, William and Eleanor) became our best family friends, and were an enormous light in the dark COVID days. They made life so much fun, full of deep conversation, and love. We had an intense friendship that I know will span all our lives.
And of course the wonderful community of families and staff at St Louis school who welcomed us with open arms.
And our awesome neighbours who became a big part of our lives, particularly the kids.
The Teachings of Carl Jung and Jungian Therapy
The teachings of Carl Jung seemed to have popped up in many of the texts I’ve read over the last few years. With the explanation below, it’s no wonder:
“Jung's therapy emphasizes helping people find their true selves, and it often uses tools like art and myth to help patients make contact with these deep feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. In addition, Jungian therapy involves getting in touch with the unconscious mind, which he believed plays a large role in shaping people's thoughts and behavior.” Verywellmind.com
Carl Jung crafted ‘The Red Book’ between 1915 and about 1930 -a red leather‐bound folio manuscript that recounts and comments upon the author's psychological experiments between 1913 and 1916, but it wasn’t translated, and then published, until 2009. One of the translator’s wrote this about the book:
“Jung had become disillusioned with scientific rationalism - what he called “The Spirit of the Times” - and over the course of many quixotic encounters with his own soul and with other inner figures, he comes to know and appreciate “the spirit of the depths”, a field that makes room for magic, coincidence, and the mythological metaphors delivered by dreams”. Dr Sonu Shamdasani.
Over these past years, I’ve been able to resonate with this style of thinking, and I appreciate many of his words, such as this :
“I think that this is something all of us contemplate from time to time. The hectic and result oriented nature of our societies, render us oblivious to the true self. We focus too much on the pleas of the fabricated world around us and we eventually lose our soul, until we start crawling back to her.” Carl Jung
‘After Memphis’
As I sit here and reflect on my life now, seven years on from the beginning of this journey, and a little over a year since arriving back from Memphis, I’m still processing what I’ve learnt, and the enormity of it all. So many layers of conditioning have been removed, and I feel so much closer to becoming who I’m really supposed to be. I guess I’m still hovering in stage 5 of spiritual alchemy - Fermentation, but I can feel myself coming out of this cocoon, and am really excited about the next stages. Step 6 is Distillation - where the ego no longer controls us, and step 7 is Coagulation - the union of matter - where we perceive life on all levels of consciousness - and experience the state of ‘Nirvana’ or the ‘Philosopher’s Stone’; but I can’t help but think these will be lifelong pursuits. I am human after all!
When I first learnt about alchemy, it took me a little while to fully understand what it was all about - first chemical alchemy, and then spiritual alchemy. I was recently reminded of a story that beautifully describes a somewhat similar process - but on a much simpler level, the story of ‘The Ugly Duckling’. You know the story, but following is a little piece of wisdom from the story that I really love:
”Follow your nature and trust your soul to guide you. The Ugly Duckling follows his nature and gets help along the way. One day, when his loneliness is at its peak, and he swims in a cold pond, he hears the cry of creatures that fly overhead, and his heart leaps. Their cries resonate somewhere deep inside him. He looks up, and sees the most beautiful creatures he has ever seen, and they cry down at him. His heart rises and breaks at the same time, and he feels a desperate love for these great white birds that he cannot understand. After they leave he is even more bereft. The swan’s cry of recognition is painful, because it is the cry of belonging and the cry of loss at the same time. The ugly duckling had seen his kind and his soul family had recognised him. But he was not yet ready to join his family. He had not yet recognised the swan in him, and he still had growing to do.
How often have we been in this painful situation; when a part of us feels abandoned and another is moving forwards towards home and a sense of place? How many of us, because of a painful childhood or life experience that has dented our sense of self, find it hard to recognise our inner swan, our divine natures? This is what we must heal. Reminding us that early mothering and the sense of belonging activates in us innate wisdom, Pinkola Estes writes: “We all have a longing that we feel for our own kind, our wild kind. Something great and big in us longs to be connected again with this primeval mother, and the ugly ducking in us will go on, until we find it”.” Abandoned - Healing Your Inner Orphan
The story of ‘The Alchemist’ is one where a man sets out on a journey, dreaming of a beautiful or magical place, in pursuit of some unknown treasure. At the end of his journey, the man realises the treasure was within him the entire time, in his heart and soul.
It’s also a story of awakening - to who we truly are, and how we can use our gifts to help others.
“Awakening brings a shift away from accumulation to contribution. The energy that people invested to try and alleviate their own psychological suffering is now redirected to try and alleviate the suffering of others. There’s a shift of focus from “what I can get from life to what I can give to life.” Conscious Lifestyle Magazine
And who better to end this blog post on than someone who transformed their own suffering into helping others, Olivia Newton-John (ONJ). Olivia Newton-John Cancer Wellness & Research Centre.
I was seven years old when the musical fantasy film ‘Xanadu’ came out (interestingly, seven is the age when the first realisation of self begins to occur). I thought ONJ was so utterly beautiful in the film. She inspired me then, and she’s inspired me greatly thoughtout her whole life with her strength, courage, and grace. I was thrilled when I met her briefly at Gaia - the health retreat she helped create, where I visited once. Always radiating joy, hope, and compassion - she was a force for good in this world. If I can emulate any of the good Olivia has done in the world, I’ll be happy. RIP Olivia. The world will miss your magic.